Written by Fanny Di Domenicantonio, Director at Fox & Cubs Nanny & Private Staff Agency.
Knowing how to choose a maternity nurse is one of the most important decisions a family makes, because the first weeks with a new baby are unlike anything else. However prepared a family feels, the reality of those early days, the exhaustion, the feeding challenges, the uncertainty, has a way of arriving on its own terms. What makes the difference, almost without exception, is having the right person there.
A maternity nurse is not a babysitter. She is not a night nanny. She is a specialist in newborn care and postnatal recovery, whose role is to support the entire family through one of the most significant transitions they will ever face. Her presence in those first weeks can mean the difference between a family that feels held and a family that feels overwhelmed. Choosing the right one is one of the most important decisions a family can make, and it deserves the same care and rigour as any other professional appointment.
At Fox & Cubs, we work with maternity nurses every day. We know what separates the truly exceptional ones from the rest. When families ask us how to choose a maternity nurse, the starting point, almost always, is training.
What a maternity nurse actually does
Before talking about what to look for, it is worth being clear about what a maternity nurse is actually there to do because there is a great deal of misunderstanding about the role.
A maternity nurse typically lives in with the family for the first four to twelve weeks after birth. She works long hours, often around the clock in the early weeks, supporting newborn feeding, establishing routines, settling the baby, and managing the night feeds that leave new parents depleted. She is the steady, expert presence that allows parents to sleep when they can, recover at their own pace, and gradually build the confidence they need to care for their baby independently.
But the role goes further than the baby. A truly excellent maternity nurse is also attuned to the mother’s recovery, to the emotional adjustment that both parents are navigating, and to the wider dynamics of the household. She knows when to step in and when to step back. She knows how to support a breastfeeding mother through a difficult latch, how to involve a partner who feels peripheral in those first weeks, and how to help an older sibling adjust to a new baby without feeling sidelined.
This is specialist work. It requires specific training, a genuine evidence base, and the kind of emotional intelligence that cannot be taught in a textbook alone.
Why training matters more than experience alone
Experience is valuable. A maternity nurse who has supported hundreds of families has a depth of practical knowledge that no course can fully replicate. But experience without proper training is also a risk. The field of infant care is constantly evolving, with evidence-based guidance on safe sleep, feeding support, and postnatal recovery developing all the time. A maternity nurse who trained twenty years ago and has not updated her knowledge since may be working from a framework that is no longer current and in some cases, no longer safe.
The best maternity nurses combine real-world experience with continuing professional development. They know the science behind what they do. They can explain their approach, adapt it to each family, and update it as guidance changes. When something unexpected arises a tongue tie diagnosis, a mother struggling emotionally, a baby who is not gaining weight as expected they know not only what to do but why, and they know when to refer to another professional.
What accredited training looks like
When we assess a maternity nurse candidate at Fox & Cubs, one of the first things we look at is their training background. Specifically, we look for training that is accredited by a recognised professional body, evidence-based rather than opinion-led, regularly updated, and built around the full picture of newborn care not just feeding or sleep, but the physical and emotional recovery of the mother, the involvement of partners, and the adjustment of the whole family.
One of the training providers we trust is Babyem, a specialist maternity nurse training organisation whose programmes are built around exactly this philosophy.
Emma Dewey, Founder and Director of Babyem, explains it this way:
“I founded Babyem because every family deserves calm, confident support in those first weeks. We train maternity nurses to be gentle and responsive: to read each baby’s cues, to support whatever feeding choice a family makes without judgement, and to care for mum’s recovery as closely as the baby’s. Everything we teach follows current evidence, and our training is accredited by OCN London. The goal is always parents who feel more confident, not more dependent.” Emma Dewey, Founder and Director, Babyem
This is precisely the standard Fox & Cubs looks for. A maternity nurse who has been trained to support the mother’s recovery as much as the baby’s care, who understands the emotional dimensions of new parenthood, and who is equipped to leave parents more confident, not more dependent.
How to choose a maternity nurse: six questions to ask
Beyond training, here are the questions every family should ask before confirming a placement.
What does your training cover and when did you last update it?
Look for a maternity nurse who can speak clearly about the evidence base behind her approach to feeding support, safe sleep, and postnatal recovery. Ask when she last undertook professional development. Vague answers are a warning sign.
How do you approach feeding support?
Whether a family plans to breastfeed, bottle feed, or combination feed, a good maternity nurse will support that choice knowledgeably and without judgement. Ask specifically how she approaches feeding difficulties and what her experience is with tongue tie, low supply, and other common challenges. This is one of the areas where the difference between a trained and an untrained maternity nurse is most clearly felt.
How do you involve both parents?
The best maternity nurses do not create dependency. They build confidence. A maternity nurse who explains what she is doing, involves partners, and empowers parents to make decisions themselves is far more valuable than one who simply takes over. Ask how she plans to hand over to the family at the end of her placement and what that transition looks like in practice.
What is your approach to safe sleep?
This is non-negotiable. Every maternity nurse should be working from current NHS and Lullaby Trust guidance on safe sleep environments, positioning, and temperature regulation. There is no acceptable variation on this. If a candidate gives an answer that does not align with current guidance, that is a serious concern regardless of her experience.
Can you provide references from recent families?
A maternity nurse with strong, recent references from families she has supported through similar situations to yours is a far safer choice than one whose references are dated or vague. Ask to speak with a previous family directly, not just read a written reference. The best maternity nurses will have families who are happy to speak warmly about them.
What happens when things do not go to plan?
A new baby is unpredictable. A tongue tie diagnosis, a difficult latch, a mother who is struggling emotionally, a baby who is not feeding as expected a maternity nurse who can handle the unexpected calmly and competently, and who knows when to refer to another professional, is worth her weight in gold. Ask for a real example of a challenging situation she has navigated and how she handled it.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does a maternity nurse stay with a family?
Most maternity nurses live in with the family for the first four to twelve weeks after birth. The length depends on the family’s needs, the baby’s feeding and sleep, and how confident the parents feel.
When should I start looking for a maternity nurse?
The second trimester, around sixteen to twenty weeks, is the best time to begin. The most experienced maternity nurses book up months in advance, so an early start gives you time to meet candidates and take references properly.
What is the difference between a maternity nurse and a night nanny?
A maternity nurse is a newborn specialist who usually lives in and supports the whole family, including feeding, routines and the mother’s recovery. A night nanny usually covers overnight care only, so that parents can sleep.
What training should a maternity nurse have?
Look for evidence-based training from an accredited provider covering feeding support, safe sleep and postnatal recovery, alongside current paediatric first aid and an enhanced DBS check. Ask when she last updated her knowledge.
How do I check a maternity nurse’s references?
Speak directly to at least one recent family, not only a written reference. Ask how she supported feeding, how she handled unexpected situations and whether the family would book her again.
At Fox & Cubs, we support families through every stage of the maternity nurse search from the initial brief and candidate shortlisting through to introductions, references, and the placement itself. We stay present throughout the placement to ensure everything is going well, and we remain available if any questions or adjustments arise.
If you are expecting and wondering how to choose a maternity nurse, we would love to hear from you.
Get in touch with the Fox & Cubs team today.
About Fox & Cubs
Fox & Cubs Nanny & Private Staff Agency supports families in London and internationally with carefully vetted childcare and household professionals. With a personalised approach and deep understanding of family life, the agency helps households find reliable long-term support. In 2026, Fox & Cubs was voted Best Nanny Agency in the UK at the UK Nanny Awards voted for by families, nannies, and childcare professionals.
Get in touch with the Fox & Cubs team today or connect with Fanny on LinkedIn.
